SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF THE WAY!

Mental illness is looked upon as being a negative thing.

Those who have mental illnesses are usually expected to act or behave in a negative manner.

Those who perpetrated all the school shootings were all announced to have a serious mental illness, with one exception, Columbine.

Did their disorder cause them to commit the act they did?

Were they in their right mind?

Maybe not.

But, that does not mean that all that have one disorder or another are going to commit an extreme act such as the school shootings.

We are not always at danger to have an episode or breakdown.

We usually recognize our stressors and/or triggers, and remove ourselves from the situation before things escalate.

Quite often we are not the ones who instigated the situation in the first place and we are not the ones who keep pushing the issue.

Family and loved ones of the individual who just happens to have a mental illness(es) just do not understand what they are doing.

They usually do not understand that talking with an ill person is not the same as talking with a so-called "normal" person.

Our minds work differently and we usually will react differently.

But we still deserve the benefit of the doubt as it would be with anyone else.

Still, we are expected to act "crazy", "abnormal", to "over react", become "dangerous", and to behave as someone who is "insane".

Say the word "insane" to me and I will react as someone who just got called a "nigger".

It is a hateful and ignorant word.

Completely negative and evil.

Oh man, how archaic that "term" is.

I have observed in my life that those around me, when they are around me, treat me differently as they do with the others.

They're careful at what they say, when they would not hesitate to speak in the manner they are trying to avoid using around me with any one else in their life.

Like if they don't, they might say something that will set me off or cause a harm.

I'm not a helpless infant, I deserve and expect the same respect as anyone else does.

And why does everyone try so hard to be happy around us?

What makes a negative environment is not people being sad, angry or hurt around us.
We are no different than anyone else.
We just happen to have a mental illness(es).

I will admit that I am more sensitive to situations and the such than most laypersons.

I have faced too many bad situations and have had too many unfortunate conversations.

I don't always realize what I am doing or what I am saying.
I don't always how my behaviour is.

That's why i have been diagnosed with serious mood and anxiety disorders.
And why I take medications for them.

I'm still looking for a good therapy that would suit me best.

I will say this, what is going on with and in me is no one else's business. No one needs to know anything about me in regards to how I behave sometimes.

If I want anyone to know I will be the one to tell them.

Talking about me behind my back is never a smart thing to do, I always seem to know when they have been.
It's all in how they behave around me and how they talk to me.

Their eyes give them away everytime.
I am good at reading people and their behaviour around me.

I don't like, nor do I need fake friends and loved ones.

That is just a major hinderance.
And why I feel I am in a most negative environment.

Now, I'm not saying that I am totally blameless in anything. I tend to behave differently around them as they do with me, unknowingly.

Still, the responsibility for my actions, words and behaviour is mine alone.
As it is with the others.

Society in general is ignorant of their behaviour, and seemingly don't give a damn.
I recently had said to me "...nobody cares, suck it up or get out of the way."
"No one likes a cry baby."

I started to react with anger because those comments were so full of hate. But something came over me, I cannot explain it, I responded with kindness, thanking him for his kind comments.
Okay, so I was being sarcastic, oh well.
I still got a laugh out of it.

But, the reason i shared this was to show how many still look upon those of us who just happen to have a mental illness.

We are negative people that only behave negatively and presumed to be weak.

That is the way society is, "Only the strong survive."
And all the crybabies can just shut up.
"No one needs to hear or see that."

Out of sight, out of mind right?

Society would rather ignore and forget about the mentally ill, hoping we would just shut up and go away.

Guess what? We are here, we are not going anywhere!

We have the right to live our lives, just like anyone else has.

We are allowed to choose how to live our lives as we see fit.

You can think of us and say that we are a lost cause.

We are not!!!
Not a single one!!!

We are just like anyone, we just want to live and let live.

We just want to choose and decide for ourselves without someone saying otherwise.

A mental illness, lets say, Borderline Personality Disorder, is no more a negative thing as cancer or whatever you want to name.

Not that either one is a good thing and there's no joy when diagnosed with either one.

All who are ill need support.
No matter what the illness or disorder.
No one can go it alone.

I'm seeking the help that I need.
For so many years I did not for fear of ridicule and judgement.
I remained silent for all of my adult life, I'm 45. As I remained silent for most of my teen-age years. My so-called development years. And you wonder why I am the way I am.

That silence nearly killed me on numerous occasions.
It's the living in silence that kills most of those with mental illnesses and the like.

Do not blame the individual.
Do not call him a coward.

You try living with what the mentally ill do.
And we are the presumed weak.

It takes great strength to admit that there's something going on and are in need of help and support.
However that is.

I know society will never change, the stigma surrounding mental illness will always be there. Although it is getting smaller and smaller.

I do dream of that day when there is no more stigma.

This is the hope that I cling to.

I do not expect or need society to back away and/or back down and admit they were fools.
It's just not going to happen.

I accept that.
I will not blame society for all that I go through any more.

But, know this I am not going anywhere.
I will stand right here.
I will be a voice.
I will not be ignored.
I will not go silently.

Judge me, hate me, accuse and blame me all you want.
I pity you.
You do not realize just how arrogant you are.
And through your arrogance you are most ignorant.

I will live the best I can.
Be a support or a help, or just get out of my way and leave me alone.

I will not just survive, I will thrive!

Your assumptions and presumptions are all misconceptions.
I will make it known just what mental illness is.

If I have anything to say about it.
I will let you know.
I will educate and communicate.

I will be a voice for the voiceless.
My words will offer empowerment and encouragement.

I dream that many more will wake up and will end their silence.
No more will be lost to the silence that screams in a mind.

I don't care what the world says, we are the strong ones.
We are the brave and courageous ones.

Now stand! Be counted!

You are not alone!
Not in this, not in anything!
You certainly are not the only ones.
We are many.
And we will live.

We are learning.
We are growing.

One day mental illness will be no more.
We will be the change.
We will be the cure.

"We are not the problem, we are the solution." (unknown)

Keep in mind that "people fear that which they don't understand nor can they control."

We don't need to be understood.
We don't need to be controlled.

Do not call us negative people.
We are positive people.

We are learning how to live.
We are taking back our own lives.
We will live!

"If you don't have anything helpful to say, then don't say anything." (unknown)

"God come closer, as I draw nigh to You."
"Use me as You will, Oh Lord."
"I am Your humble servant."
"Give me the words someone needs to hear."
"I am Yours, send me, I will go."
"In the Holy Name of Jesus the Christ."
"Amen."

All I seek to do with this blog is to uplift and empower.
Not just sharing myself and my thoughts and feeling.
I am of the One who sent me.

In ending:
"RISE AND RISE AGAIN, TILL THE LAMBS BECOME LIONS." (unknown)
Meaning: NEVER GIVE UP.

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY